Have you ever started something with all the best intentions of finishing and fall short of the finish line? I know that I have many times. I recently was reminded of this verse in Hebrews...
Heb. 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
This verse seemed to strike a cord and I realized that I need to work on being disciplined. I recently started this blog and have had the intention of writing here everyday. Well, if you take a look at my posts you will see that I have not been diligent in this.
Another area, and stand back for this one, is my diet. I have struggled with my weight most of my life, and within the past year I have lost 50 lb. (Yay, me!) However, I have let go of my discipline in this area and have gained a little back.
While I am airing my dirty laundry here...well, yep, that's another one. I have not been very disciplined with the house work. (Pretty bad when no one has clean undies! YIKES!)
I could go on and on with areas in my life that I am lacking discipline or have left a project undone. However, what this verse made me realize is that discipline is making a choice. Making a choice to finish what I start and follow through even when the task is tough, even when I don't feel like it, and even when the task seems impossible. (That laundry mountain just keeps getting bigger!)
So, I am planning on starting with this blog. I am going to blog each day even if it is just a few words. I may even come up with some witty daily titles like...
Weight Loss Wednesdays! Yep, not only will I be working on my blog but I will be working on my discipline with my weight loss. My Wednesday posts may contain a healthy recipe, a triumph (or struggle) in my journey, or even an exercise tip.
As for the laundry...well, I will make the trek to the top of Mt. Laundry and although I may never reach the top (That's what happens when you have boys who play sports!) I will have the comfort in knowing my family has clean undies! ;)
So, is there some area that you may be lacking in discipline? Let's pray for each other that we will seek out discipline and reap the "harvest of righteousness and peace" as the verse says!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I don't like to cry
Crying is not one of my favorite pastimes. Of course, I don't know many people who actually enjoy crying. I use to be one of those people who would never cry, at least I never let anyone see me cry. I grew up being taught that crying showed weakness. However, through marriage and becoming a mom God has softened my heart and now I seem to cry at everything. (Yes, I cry at the Hallmark commercials) Although, I still do not like for people to see me cry I now think very differently about what crying is all about.
Today my 7 year old Michael had a very long crying episode. His feelings had been hurt and the tears just would not stop coming. He is a little boy that loves with all he is, and I love that about him. So, during this weeping he sat on my lap and just let the tears flow. He is not a cuddly child, he is an on the go child so, I knew when he crawled onto my lap we were going to be here a while. After 20 minutes Brian took Michael onto his lap and the tears continued. As I watched my husband holding Michael and listened to him saying it was okay to let the feelings out, tears came to my own eyes.
This brings me back to my thoughts on crying. I had a heart that had been hurt over and over again, and I never let the feelings of that hurt out. Therefore, my heart started to become hard and emotionless. I envision it as if my heart had a dark thick coating of mud on it from holding on to years of hurt. Each time I would be hurt another layer would be added growing thicker and harder to the point that I didn't feel the hurts anymore. However, because of these layers and layers of hardened hurts on my heart I was not able to let anything into my heart either. My heart became covered, hardened, and protected (or so I thought) from any hurts that came my way.
The layers on my heart seemed to protect me from feeling hurt. However, I didn't realize that at the same time I was not able to feel other emotions; joy, love, compassion, etc. After Brian and I were married God started to show me this through many, many, many tears. Years of tears that had been packed away and not allowed to pour started to make their way out. I have been very blessed to have a wonderful, loving husband, and God used our marriage to break through the layers of hardened hurts around my heart. As I began to feel love the layers of hurts began to crack and not only was love getting in, but all those years of hurts started to flow out in the form of tears.
Because of this beautiful transformation that God has taken me through I see crying in a whole different way. As my precious little boy sat there feeling the hurt and letting the tears flow I explained to him how I see tears...
A heart that feels love will also feel hurts. However, when those hurts come and fling mud at our hearts God sends our tears to wash away the mud and to wash away the hurt. Yes, we will still feel the pain of the hurt however, once the tears have flowed our hearts can begin to heal. A heart that is allowed to heal is a heart that will continue to feel God's love, and is a heart that will truly be protected.
And yes, I am typing this through tears...cleansing, healing, wonderful tears!
Job 16: 19-21
Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My friends treat me with scorn, as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.
Today my 7 year old Michael had a very long crying episode. His feelings had been hurt and the tears just would not stop coming. He is a little boy that loves with all he is, and I love that about him. So, during this weeping he sat on my lap and just let the tears flow. He is not a cuddly child, he is an on the go child so, I knew when he crawled onto my lap we were going to be here a while. After 20 minutes Brian took Michael onto his lap and the tears continued. As I watched my husband holding Michael and listened to him saying it was okay to let the feelings out, tears came to my own eyes.
This brings me back to my thoughts on crying. I had a heart that had been hurt over and over again, and I never let the feelings of that hurt out. Therefore, my heart started to become hard and emotionless. I envision it as if my heart had a dark thick coating of mud on it from holding on to years of hurt. Each time I would be hurt another layer would be added growing thicker and harder to the point that I didn't feel the hurts anymore. However, because of these layers and layers of hardened hurts on my heart I was not able to let anything into my heart either. My heart became covered, hardened, and protected (or so I thought) from any hurts that came my way.
The layers on my heart seemed to protect me from feeling hurt. However, I didn't realize that at the same time I was not able to feel other emotions; joy, love, compassion, etc. After Brian and I were married God started to show me this through many, many, many tears. Years of tears that had been packed away and not allowed to pour started to make their way out. I have been very blessed to have a wonderful, loving husband, and God used our marriage to break through the layers of hardened hurts around my heart. As I began to feel love the layers of hurts began to crack and not only was love getting in, but all those years of hurts started to flow out in the form of tears.
Because of this beautiful transformation that God has taken me through I see crying in a whole different way. As my precious little boy sat there feeling the hurt and letting the tears flow I explained to him how I see tears...
A heart that feels love will also feel hurts. However, when those hurts come and fling mud at our hearts God sends our tears to wash away the mud and to wash away the hurt. Yes, we will still feel the pain of the hurt however, once the tears have flowed our hearts can begin to heal. A heart that is allowed to heal is a heart that will continue to feel God's love, and is a heart that will truly be protected.
And yes, I am typing this through tears...cleansing, healing, wonderful tears!
Job 16: 19-21
Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My friends treat me with scorn, as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Summer went fast!
Well, tomorrow is the first day of school for the year. I can hardly believe that my boys will be in the 2nd and 5th grades. The summer has just flown by, and I know that I will miss them during the day.
I spent the day today sitting in curriculum meetings and taking supplies to school. As I sat there with my 5th grader I realized just how much he has matured over the summer. I look at both of my boys sometimes with wonder and amazement. What an honor that God would call me to be their mom.
I am praying for the experiences they will have this year, the learning they will do (in class and from friends), but mostly I pray that their little hearts continue to seek God as they grow. I am feeling the huge responsibility of parenting today as I realize how they are growing up.
God give me the wisdom to guide these precious little ones to You!
I spent the day today sitting in curriculum meetings and taking supplies to school. As I sat there with my 5th grader I realized just how much he has matured over the summer. I look at both of my boys sometimes with wonder and amazement. What an honor that God would call me to be their mom.
I am praying for the experiences they will have this year, the learning they will do (in class and from friends), but mostly I pray that their little hearts continue to seek God as they grow. I am feeling the huge responsibility of parenting today as I realize how they are growing up.
God give me the wisdom to guide these precious little ones to You!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Fun Family Day
Today was our last day to enjoy summer break. Technically school doesn't start until Thursday, but tomorrow is full of meeting teachers, curriculum conferences, and preparing for the first day back.
So, today we went to the Columbus zoo and spent a few hours enjoying the rides at Jungle Jacks Landing. Noah and Michael had a blast! We rounded out the afternoon with a trip to Graeter's for ice cream!
I really enjoyed my boys today. There are moments when I look at them and can almost see them growing before my eyes. Today was one of those days. This one is getting tucked away in my memories as a fun family day.
So, today we went to the Columbus zoo and spent a few hours enjoying the rides at Jungle Jacks Landing. Noah and Michael had a blast! We rounded out the afternoon with a trip to Graeter's for ice cream!
I really enjoyed my boys today. There are moments when I look at them and can almost see them growing before my eyes. Today was one of those days. This one is getting tucked away in my memories as a fun family day.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Yesterday...
Yesterday my husband learned that he will no longer be employed in 2 weeks. This was some what expected however, still a shock to say the least. We were having a lunch date, a much needed date, and he got an email with the news. So, we prayed and we continued with our date trying not to let the news ruin our time together. When we got home he began his job searching right away.
Over the years we have made a financial sacrifice so that I can stay home with our kids. However, this is one of those moments when I start to wonder if that was the right choice. I was trying to be optimistic and trust that God had it all under control. However, I must admit that I wanted to start blaming Him for causing our distress. Then a verse popped into my head:
James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
This verse however, did not help my attitude. How was I suppose to be joyful when my husband was losing his job?! So, I didn't dwell on the verse and started thinking about where I could get a job. My plan was under way! However, as the day went on I was still feeling overcome with worry and fear.
After dinner I received a verse from a dear friend. The verse was actually her status update on her Facebook wall. The verse was:
Isaiah 46: 3-4
Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Wow, this verse just hit me upside the head. I could hear God reminding me of all the trials He has already brought me through. How could I forget all that He has done for me already and not trust that He will do the same again. Oh, my faith is so small.
I spent some time in prayer and this morning I can say that I have a peace and calm that is not my own. I am now finding joy in the anticipation of what and how God is going to provide for us in this difficult situation. Sure, the worry and doubt will creep in from time to time, but I know who will sustain me, who will rescue me, who can do more than I can ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20)
So, I am waiting to see what His plan holds for us.
Over the years we have made a financial sacrifice so that I can stay home with our kids. However, this is one of those moments when I start to wonder if that was the right choice. I was trying to be optimistic and trust that God had it all under control. However, I must admit that I wanted to start blaming Him for causing our distress. Then a verse popped into my head:
James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
This verse however, did not help my attitude. How was I suppose to be joyful when my husband was losing his job?! So, I didn't dwell on the verse and started thinking about where I could get a job. My plan was under way! However, as the day went on I was still feeling overcome with worry and fear.
After dinner I received a verse from a dear friend. The verse was actually her status update on her Facebook wall. The verse was:
Isaiah 46: 3-4
Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Wow, this verse just hit me upside the head. I could hear God reminding me of all the trials He has already brought me through. How could I forget all that He has done for me already and not trust that He will do the same again. Oh, my faith is so small.
I spent some time in prayer and this morning I can say that I have a peace and calm that is not my own. I am now finding joy in the anticipation of what and how God is going to provide for us in this difficult situation. Sure, the worry and doubt will creep in from time to time, but I know who will sustain me, who will rescue me, who can do more than I can ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20)
So, I am waiting to see what His plan holds for us.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Boys, boys, boys
We have had a wonderful, fun-filled summer this year. The summer has been full of lots of time together at weddings, amusement parks, trips to grandmas, fairs, the zoo, and many other family activities. However, as summer is coming to a close my boys, Noah age 10 and Michael age 7, are getting antsy.
The last week or so the boys have been fighting non-stop. No matter what we do or where we go they seem to be always picking on each other. I am forever hearing a chorus of..."He's touching me!", "No, he hit me!", "Now he's kicking me!" These cries are usually followed by a conversation over who started it and why the other needs punished. A very frustrating situation for a mom.
In these moments I often want to pull out my hair and scream back at them. And well, let's be honest there are times I do lose it. Of course, that leads to mommy apologizing and that is a whole different post. However, I have been taking this time in the last week to share a verse with my boys regarding pointing out their brother's wrong doings. The verse is:
Matthew 7:3-4
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
This is a big concept for them to grasp. I have seen a difference in how they react when the 'who started it' conversations begin. Although, my concern for how they are treating each other remains. So, now they are working on their own 'planks', but still fighting. Just as I am beginning to think they might rip each other apart they surprise me.
Last evening we took the boys to Chuck-E-Cheese for an end of summer splurge. Expecting them to fight over how many tokens each other had I was all prepared. I had the verse we had been talking about on my tongue, along with a few others, and was prepared for the worst. So, the evening of video games began and to my surprise the boys were...wait for it...helping each other out and sharing. Gasp! Can it be!
Yes, they were working together. As they were walking around playing games Michael dropped his cup of tokens. (Tragedy) Noah helped him pick them up and offered to carry a few tokens for Michael in his pocket. (Note: Always make sure they have pockets when going to Chuck-E-Cheese) The rest of the evening Noah made sure he knew where Michael was, and kept checking to see if he was out of tokens. If Michael needed a token and Noah was playing a game he would wait patiently for Noah to finish before asking for a token. I was so happy to see them getting along so well.
I am beginning to realize that fighting is something that boys do. The picking on each other is not going to stop. (No matter how crazy it makes me!) But I can see that they are learning to think of others and can be kind to each other.
The last week or so the boys have been fighting non-stop. No matter what we do or where we go they seem to be always picking on each other. I am forever hearing a chorus of..."He's touching me!", "No, he hit me!", "Now he's kicking me!" These cries are usually followed by a conversation over who started it and why the other needs punished. A very frustrating situation for a mom.
In these moments I often want to pull out my hair and scream back at them. And well, let's be honest there are times I do lose it. Of course, that leads to mommy apologizing and that is a whole different post. However, I have been taking this time in the last week to share a verse with my boys regarding pointing out their brother's wrong doings. The verse is:
Matthew 7:3-4
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
This is a big concept for them to grasp. I have seen a difference in how they react when the 'who started it' conversations begin. Although, my concern for how they are treating each other remains. So, now they are working on their own 'planks', but still fighting. Just as I am beginning to think they might rip each other apart they surprise me.
Last evening we took the boys to Chuck-E-Cheese for an end of summer splurge. Expecting them to fight over how many tokens each other had I was all prepared. I had the verse we had been talking about on my tongue, along with a few others, and was prepared for the worst. So, the evening of video games began and to my surprise the boys were...wait for it...helping each other out and sharing. Gasp! Can it be!
Yes, they were working together. As they were walking around playing games Michael dropped his cup of tokens. (Tragedy) Noah helped him pick them up and offered to carry a few tokens for Michael in his pocket. (Note: Always make sure they have pockets when going to Chuck-E-Cheese) The rest of the evening Noah made sure he knew where Michael was, and kept checking to see if he was out of tokens. If Michael needed a token and Noah was playing a game he would wait patiently for Noah to finish before asking for a token. I was so happy to see them getting along so well.
I am beginning to realize that fighting is something that boys do. The picking on each other is not going to stop. (No matter how crazy it makes me!) But I can see that they are learning to think of others and can be kind to each other.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Here we go...
Well, after much thought and consideration I have started a blog. I often have a lot to say so I guess I might as well put it out there.
As my title says I am a cracked pot letting God hold it together. I sometimes think about all the work God has to go through picking up my pieces as I go through life cracked and broken. I will be sharing my adventures as a cracked pot here on this blog. I know there are many other cracked pots out there and together we can help each other focus on the One who loves us to pieces!
Psalm 34:17-19
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.
As my title says I am a cracked pot letting God hold it together. I sometimes think about all the work God has to go through picking up my pieces as I go through life cracked and broken. I will be sharing my adventures as a cracked pot here on this blog. I know there are many other cracked pots out there and together we can help each other focus on the One who loves us to pieces!
Psalm 34:17-19
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.
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