Lemonade Stand

This summer our church is sending 2 teams to Cambodia.

As a family we have several friends going on these trips and have been blessed to support them both prayerfully and financially. However, both of our boys have had a very personal experience with supporting the second team. Several of the people on this team are close friends so we already felt a strong connection to the trip. However, this trip has gained a special place in the hearts of our boys.

We have been planning for our family vacation to Disney World for some time now. As we planned the boys wanted to run a lemonade stand to raise a little spending money for our trip. Around the same time I learned that our friends, who were going to Cambodia with team 2, were planning a yard sale to raise money for their trips. This offered a perfect opportunity for Noah and Michael to have their lemonade stand.

As we prepared our goodies for the sale we talked about why our friends were having the yard sale. We also talked about the reasons they were traveling to Cambodia, to share Jesus with those who do not know Him. With this new understanding of what the Cambodia trips where all about (they thought the team was just visiting Miss Jen our missionary) the boys had the thought to give some of their profits to the team. After some deliberating they decided that 50% of all their profits should go to Team 2 towards their trip. (This made my heart soar!)

Well, the boys spent 6 hours in the hot sun selling lemonade, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and bottled water. (of course all the supplies were donations, wink wink) They had a table all set up with a menu, cash register, and cooler full of drinks. They were so cute that several people stopped just to buy from their little stand, and then walked around the yard sale! Fun!

Their grand total in sales for the day was $40 (minus about $5 that was spent at the yard sale). So, as we were cleaning up to go home they proudly gave Miss Kim $20 and said, "This is for your trip!" How wonderful it was to see the excitement they had in supporting our friends and having a part in sharing Jesus with people on the other side of the world.

Both of the boys have felt a closer connection to this trip and while we were at Disney last week we took time to pray for our friends. Even though we have not been able to go on one of these trips (yet) we have been able to use these trips to teach our boys the importance of living and sharing Gods word. The photos and blogs our friends have been posting have made us all feel like we are right there with them.

I am so excited that our boys are beginning to understand the importance of sharing the news of Jesus with others.

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Being an Advocate for my kids

Today started out as a very difficult day in the Bontrager household. My 10 year old (Noah) struggles with a chemical imbalance, or low serotonin levels. This imbalance shows itself with various symptoms one of them being ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). We have spent years seeing a psychologist and working with various behavioral modifications, diet modifications, and yes, we have tried different medications as well. (I will try whatever it takes to give him the best childhood possible!)

For the last year or so we have been very fortunate to have found a combination of behavioral modifications and medications that have kept his symptoms under control. He has been able to concentrate at school, his grades are great, and he is enjoying being a kid.

However, as we started 5th grade this year I was holding on for all of the transitions headed our way. (He really struggles with change) The first week went well, and then it hit. The ADD reared it's ugly head and put a huge halt to our year of seeing few symptoms. The last 2 weeks have been filled with meltdowns in the classroom (crying, not talking, dad had to go to the school meltdowns), an hour worth of homework taking 4 or more hours, and crying in the mornings not wanting to go to school! Yikes! My happy little 10 year old suddenly turned into a child who could not focus on anything, didn't want to go to school, and was doubting his abilities.

I must say that I was expecting there to be some issues as 5th grade started knowing that Noah is not fond of change. We have a doctors appointment for next Wednesday to discuss a change in his medication, and to discuss how he is handling 5th grade. (He has had a big growth spurt over the summer, and meds usually need adjusted after a growth spurt!)

Today however, my husband and I took him to school and sat down with the Principle and guidance counselor to discuss the issues we have been having. We now have a plan in place to get us through until we have adjusted his medication amounts.

One thing that I have learned through having a child with challenges is that I have to be his advocate. I have to be willing to walk into the school and let the teachers, principle, and guidance counselor know that things are not working for my child. I have made it my mission to make myself known by all of the teachers (including gym, art, music, library teachers, and even the lunch room helpers), the principle, and the guidance counselor. The more I show how committed I am to my child's education the more willing the teachers are to work with me.

I think this is true in every part of being a parent. I need to be my child's advocate, I need to speak up for him, support him, and give him what he needs to succeed, learn, and grow. What an amazing job God has given me!

Reward charts

I love to reward my boys for good behavior, doing chores without being told, and simply helping out mom and dad. By reinforcing their good behavior this teaches them what is expected of them as well as how to be responsible.

One way that we reward good behavior in our house is with a reward chart. Each boy has his own chart with his own areas to work on. These areas might include making the bed, being nice, setting the table, doing homework, etc.

One of the boys stickers is labeled 'BE NICE' as they have been having some trouble respecting others and their feelings. Last night I was tallying up their stickers for the day and neither boy had received a sticker for being nice. However, as we talked through their achievements for the day Michael had a realization. He realized that both of them had been mean to me and therefore didn't earn their 'Be nice' sticker.

He looked at me and said, "Poor mommy!" I asked him what he meant and he said, "You have been mean to today! Everyone has been mean to you!" I almost started to cry because he was seeing our reason for the 'BE NICE' sticker and realizing how mean he had been. After tallying the stickers Michael came to me and apologized for his mean words then asked if I would snuggle and read a book. (Who could say no to that request?!)

This was one of those moments when I saw that all my re-directions, correcting, and disciplining is really having an affect on my boys. Sometimes I feel as though all I do is discipline them and wonder if any of it is sinking in. Here was a precious little glimpse of what his little heart is learning. All of the effort I put in really is worth it! What an honor to train a little heart!

And, you can be sure I took full advantage of the offered snuggle and reading as these moments are rare with a 7 year old boy! ;)

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Summer went fast!

Well, tomorrow is the first day of school for the year. I can hardly believe that my boys will be in the 2nd and 5th grades. The summer has just flown by, and I know that I will miss them during the day.

I spent the day today sitting in curriculum meetings and taking supplies to school. As I sat there with my 5th grader I realized just how much he has matured over the summer. I look at both of my boys sometimes with wonder and amazement. What an honor that God would call me to be their mom.

I am praying for the experiences they will have this year, the learning they will do (in class and from friends), but mostly I pray that their little hearts continue to seek God as they grow. I am feeling the huge responsibility of parenting today as I realize how they are growing up.

God give me the wisdom to guide these precious little ones to You!

Boys, boys, boys

We have had a wonderful, fun-filled summer this year. The summer has been full of lots of time together at weddings, amusement parks, trips to grandmas, fairs, the zoo, and many other family activities. However, as summer is coming to a close my boys, Noah age 10 and Michael age 7, are getting antsy.

The last week or so the boys have been fighting non-stop. No matter what we do or where we go they seem to be always picking on each other. I am forever hearing a chorus of..."He's touching me!", "No, he hit me!", "Now he's kicking me!" These cries are usually followed by a conversation over who started it and why the other needs punished. A very frustrating situation for a mom.

In these moments I often want to pull out my hair and scream back at them. And well, let's be honest there are times I do lose it. Of course, that leads to mommy apologizing and that is a whole different post. However, I have been taking this time in the last week to share a verse with my boys regarding pointing out their brother's wrong doings. The verse is:

Matthew 7:3-4
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

This is a big concept for them to grasp. I have seen a difference in how they react when the 'who started it' conversations begin. Although, my concern for how they are treating each other remains. So, now they are working on their own 'planks', but still fighting. Just as I am beginning to think they might rip each other apart they surprise me.

Last evening we took the boys to Chuck-E-Cheese for an end of summer splurge. Expecting them to fight over how many tokens each other had I was all prepared. I had the verse we had been talking about on my tongue, along with a few others, and was prepared for the worst. So, the evening of video games began and to my surprise the boys were...wait for it...helping each other out and sharing. Gasp! Can it be!

Yes, they were working together. As they were walking around playing games Michael dropped his cup of tokens. (Tragedy) Noah helped him pick them up and offered to carry a few tokens for Michael in his pocket. (Note: Always make sure they have pockets when going to Chuck-E-Cheese) The rest of the evening Noah made sure he knew where Michael was, and kept checking to see if he was out of tokens. If Michael needed a token and Noah was playing a game he would wait patiently for Noah to finish before asking for a token. I was so happy to see them getting along so well.

I am beginning to realize that fighting is something that boys do. The picking on each other is not going to stop. (No matter how crazy it makes me!) But I can see that they are learning to think of others and can be kind to each other.