Lacking Compassion

There are times during this journey of parenthood that leave me looking back wishing I had said or done things differently. Of course, this is life, we learn from our mistakes, right?!

Recently, God has been working on an area of my heart that I am needing some adjustments in. (Working on my plank, Matthew 7:3-5) This area has to do with compassion.

I am a fairly compassionate person however, I seem to loose touch with this compassion when my husband or children are ill. I tend to be a 'suck it up' type gal, and when others are ill around me and whiny, (see there I go) I tend to think they should do the same, suck it up. Of course, I do care for my family when they are ill, I just get a bad attitude.

God has been bringing this to my attention recently with the struggles we have been having with my son Noah. We are at point with is ADD issues that we need to adjust some things. (Growth spurts throw everything off) However, I have not been very compassionate regarding his struggle. My attitude has not been filled with grace, mercy, or compassion. Instead, I have been impatient, angry, and even hurtful with my words at times. As I talked with a friend yesterday about Noah's struggle I realized just how little compassion I had been showing him. Ouch! I thought to myself "How can a mother be so awful to her son!" Thankfully, God is showing me this so, I can correct it. I found this verse today and it seemed to fit where my mind was on this heart issue...

Isaiah 49:15
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

This is how I felt thinking about my attitude. How could I forget to be compassionate to my son?! I am beginning to realize that I have a selfish attitude. The problem is not so much that I forget to be compassionate, but that I am selfish. Taking care of others, especially my children, takes a lot of time, effort, and often every ounce of me. When I am completely tapped out (like with the recent ADD issues) if I am not leaning on God for strength, my ugliness and bad attitude start creeping out.

Parenting is hard work, and it is work that never, never, never, (did I say never) stops. I can only be the parent my children need if I am leaning on God for guidance, wisdom, and even my sanity! So, for now I am working on this 'plank' and have apologized to my son for my bad attitude.

I want to have the same compassion for others that God has for me. Thankfully, I can know that even when I am a less than perfect parent He will not forget me or my children.

Yep, working on my plank!